


Oh, Darling

by rexisnotyourwriter



Series: Before the Flood [4]
Category: Broadchurch
Genre: Father-Daughter Relationship, Fatherhood, Pregnancy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-02
Updated: 2015-12-02
Packaged: 2018-05-04 11:47:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,006
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5332991
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rexisnotyourwriter/pseuds/rexisnotyourwriter
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Alec Hardy becomes a father.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Oh, Darling

**Author's Note:**

> My headcanon for why he calls her “darling”.

When Tess was two weeks late, he felt his heart plummet into his stomach. It shouldn't have been a surprise - they were trying after all - but attempting and succeeding are very different things. As soon as they were certain she was pregnant, the uncertainty of fatherhood set in. He could barely take care of himself when Tess wasn't around, let alone another tiny human being.

The worst fear of all, the one that never left the back of his mind, was the fear that he would become his father. That's everyone's fear, isn't it? That they'll become their parents, the worst parts of them at least. He had fought against it, but sometimes he would do things, or phrases would come out of his mouth and make him pause. They weren't his words or his actions; they were his father's.  They felt foreign in his body, but they happened. And it scared him.

He spent his evenings reading parenting books, sometimes aloud to Tess before bed. She wasn't as keen on them. She was more into the ones on pregnancy and health.

“Parenting was an instinct,” she had said one night when he was especially anxious.  “Something that just kicks in when the time is right.”

His experience gave him some doubt, but he had smiled at her and told her she was probably right.

 

When Tess went into labour almost two months early, his heart dropped again. Nothing was ready, in any way. He grabbed what he could, the necessities, before rushing to the hospital.

He wanted to be in the room with her, she did too, but he lasted maybe an hour before his own anxiety began wearing off on her. Part of him was relieved. His heart was racing, and he was dizzy and sweating, not to mention his hand was cramping from Tess squeezing it during contractions.

He did everything in the waiting room but wait; he paced; he drummed on the armrest; he even whistled, but stopped shortly after one of the nurses shot him a funny look. He stared at the closed door to her room.  Sometimes he heard her and just wanted to burst in and let her squeeze his hand off if she had to, but he knew it was better that he didn't.

It was almost midnight when they congratulated him on his little baby girl. A girl. He had a girl. They had a little girl.

It was barely minutes later that they had to take her to the neonatal ICU. She wasn't even 4 lbs.

The first time he saw her, she was in a clear bassinet with tubes all over her.  But she was beautiful. Ever so tiny, and wrinkled, but she was his. She was theirs. He was able to poke his hand in the hole at the side of the bassinet, and through glossy eyes he watched her hand rest on his finger.

"Hi," he whispered. "I'm your dad."

He gently bounced his finger as if he were shaking her hand. He let out a laugh mixed with exhaustion and pure joy. He stood there for a moment, just looking at her, this little miracle.

They didn't know how long she would have to be in the ICU for. Her lungs were the main issue, and they were told it would be a couple days at the very least.

He stayed in the hospital over night with Tess.  He didn't sleep much. The rollaway bed wasn't very comfortable, but that wasn't the main cause of his insomnia. He was anxious for her to be alright, the new “her” in his life.

Tess was discharged two days later, but their daughter wasn't. They stayed at the hospital, only leaving to get food or a decent cup of tea. He didn't want to leave at all, but at the same time staying there was driving him mad. When he left, he felt like he was abandoning them.  His mind tortured him with all of the possible things that could go wrong while he was out.  But when he was there, he was just sitting and waiting and feeling powerless, wishing he could make everything alright.

One night, Tess was exhausted and fell asleep before they'd even had dinner. He couldn't think of sleep that day, day four of their hospital vacation. He went to see his little girl; he took every chance they'd let him to be with her. It was the only thing that kept him sane.

He brought a chair over next to her and once again poked his finger inside, resting it under her hand. He looked at her; her eyes were still closed. He watched her breathing. Then he started to sing, softer than a whisper.

"Oh, darling," he started. "Please believe me. I'll never do you no harm."

A tear rolled down his cheek as his eyes fixated on the tubes coming out of her and into the various machines that were keeping her alive.

"Oh, darling," he sung, his voice cracking.  "If you leave me."

A few more tears escaped from the corners of his eyes.

"I'll never make it alone."

They were flowing freely now, and he couldn't bring himself to stop them. But then, through blurry eyes, he saw her eyelids flutter.  For a brief moment he saw her eyes. He liked to think she saw his too.

 

After what felt like an eternity, their new family was finally cleared to go home. They still had a journey ahead of them, full of dirty nappies, spit up covered shirts, and sleepless nights. But on those sleepless nights, when she was screaming her finally developed lungs out, he would hush Tess back to sleep.  He’d tread softly over to her bassinet and pick up his little girl, his Daisy, and rock her gently in his arms.

"Oh, darling," he'd sing, with her hand gripped firmly on his finger, and his free hand running softly up and down her back until she fell back asleep in his arms.

 

 


End file.
